Well, I found out yesterday that I was not able to have my chemo treatment today because my white blood cell count was too low. They always do a blood test the day before chemo to make sure everything is OK. That morning I was feeling rather discouraged and not really wanting to have needles poked into me again. Because I was operated on my left arm to remove the lymph nodes, I cannot have chemo, nor any kind of injection or blood test in that arm. So, in order to save my veins in my right arm for chemo and not irritate them too much, they have to do the blood tests in my hand. I don't like that. And yesterday was painful because she couldn't get the blood flowing well. Then to top it off, I get a phone call in the afternoon telling me my chemo is postponed, which means all treatments get pushed ahead a week. I went to bed feeling down and woke with a heaviness in my heart. When I opened my devotional for the day - it's "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young I read this:
This really helped me get a better perspective on things. There is so much I cannot control in this journey, or understand for that matter. So it's no use fighting my circumstances, especially when they don't go as I planned. Every day is a constant lesson in learning how to trust. Sometimes I feel I am a slow learner...good thing He's patient with me!